a short excerpt from my biography, to be released in stores 2065...
CHRIS: i am obsessed with this weather!!!!!!!!
I totally want to sit outside at a bar in a stain resistant seer-sucker outfit while wearing HUGE suglasses (the new ones designed by madonna dn D&G) and drink myself sober...UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
embrace it...EMBRACE IT
I just want a drink with an umbrella in it...and it's only March
ME: ummm meeeeeee toooo
EXCEPT.
i'll be wearing the alexander wang cat shades, PLATINUM DYED HAIR that grew 4 inches over night, a FIERCE phillip tracey hat, a long black day dress, and a sick flop. and a SUPER INSANELY fierce brow, with the most amazing lipstick youve ever seen.
KELLY: IMAGINE....me.....
in a one-peice bathingsuit, big jackie o sunclasses, strawberry blonde hair (new color for kel for ss10), and a beautiful sarong designed by dustinnnny circa radford days.
and a chunky wedge heal...CHUNKY WEDGE!!!!
w/ a large drink, of cour!
DARA: imagine me!!!
in crimson red short shorts, smooth shaved legs, shaved head and a tank top with my nips out and of course on my diamond encrusted butterfly bicycle!!!
pio pio!
ME: LOL i LOVE this game!!
can i say ni ni to the shaved head? I love your locks too much darling dear..... of course, we all love YOUR nipples- especially DUS-Tini (pronouced like martini)!!!!!!
can we all have a photoshoot wearing these exact items? I would like to add to my look a vintage pourche and a vintage cigarette holder, and SICK RED leather driving gloves and a head scarf to match- and me driving us out to my hamptons chalet after brunch for a weekend long love fest at the beach.
OK im done.
CHRIS: I want a de-furred bunny to hold and pet in my hands the ENTIRE time named Randy...where is his fur you might ask??? Wrapped around the massive straw hat I'm wearing and is dyed to match the purple gladiator sandles (for which will have a bitty heel) that I'll adorn on my feet
amen.
KELLY: since we will be wearing such amazing things, we really shouldn't be making the drinks. the waiters is will be wearing NOTHING but lil cut off jean shorts (like int he birdcage!). they will be buff and oiled. and all will flock to us when we yell
"ALEJANDRO......"
ME: and little people wearing head to toe sequins (think, McQueen Sprin runway) fanning us with disco stick inspired fans..... whom we refer to as
"PATRICK!!"
CHRIS: and GaGa is the towel attendant at the bathroom...ya know...she just wants to keep a little mystery in her existence, nothing too too posh...
"wet nap anyone?"
DUSTY: IMAGINE ME.....
SHEER RAINBOW OMBRE CAFTAN, MY NEWLY PLASTIC SURGEONED NAKED BODY UNDERNEATH (WITH A SHEER LE PERLA THONG OF COURSE) 7 INCH GOLD PLATED OPEN TOE MANOLO SLING BACKS......AND EVERY PIECE OF JEWELRY VICTORIA DE CASTELLANE HAS EVER DESIGNED FOR DIOR FINE JEWELRY. I'M TALKING DOUBLE TIARAS.....TOE RINGS THAT COST ENOUGH TO REBUILD HAITI...
SIPPING TOKYO TEAS...... WHILE RESTING MY FEET ON A 15 YEAR NAKED CUBAN BOY....
I'M ABOVE THE LAWS OF DECENCY!
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